Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body (video)

This song best describes how I feel about running.

Why Running...And Other Things

Preface:

So this is my first post on my new blog. It is my 32nd birthday resolution to start blogging again. I actually had one going a couple of years ago, but for many different reasons, I decided to give it up. Last year for my birthday, I started journaling again. It was a practice that I had maintained religiously for many years through high school and college. Then life got in the way and I stopped writing. But looking back at some of those journals while I was cleaning the house last year inspired me to pick up this habit again. I wanted a documentation of my life. So many things were changing, and it was inspiring to read past entries to see how far I had come. So why now blogging? Like journaling, I'll be documenting snapshots of my current life, inspiration and thoughts. But instead, I'll be sharing them with everyone so that you can follow my journey along with me. I think its the next logical step to take.

So Why Running??? And Why Am I Writing About It?

I was never much of a runner when I was younger. I used to dread running a mile for our fitness test in elementary gym class. The course was what seemed like a zillion laps around our school's parking lot. I was typically passed by most of the other kids, and usually we didn't run it until May when the weather was hot. It wasn't anything that I would have chosen to do voluntarily.

In high school, I started playing soccer. I actually credit my soccer coach for teaching me proper running form. This was also the same year I had gym class and once again had to run a mile for our fitness test. I actually finished first or second in my class during most training runs, but mainly because most of the other kids decided they would rather walk. My only real competition was my friend Greta, and we would typically race each other to the finish. And sometimes I would actually beat her, even though she has much longer legs. My gym teacher wanted me to join the cross country team. I told her no, that I played soccer and that was enough. Plus, I didn't actually see myself as a runner. What business would I have on an actual team?

I kept up a bit of running through high school and college, mainly just to stay in shape. I did enjoy my three mile runs up and down my road, but that is about as far as I ever pushed myself. I wasn't a runner, and I was training mainly so that I could keep up in soccer games.

After college, both running and soccer were abandoned for other things like working and marriage. I missed being so active, but figured I was getting too old to keep up the pace.

I picked up running (and soccer) again when I was thirty. I found myself in the midst of a very stressful and public divorce, and running seemed to be the only thing that I could do some days. Sometimes it was the entire reason I got out of bed everyday. To have a goal, and try to improve my time from the day before. I didn't involve much thinking.

I started running again that fall, using a half-marathon training program a friend had given me. I didn't really have a goal to run a half-marathon at the time, but it was nice to have a schedule to follow every day. By New Year's Eve, I could run 4 miles (which was further than I usually ran even in high school). By spring, I was running 8-10 miles at a time, a first for me. This spring, I ran my first half-marathon.

Running for me, began again as a way to combat stress and depression, get back into shape and conquer small goals for myself. But it has grown into something much bigger than just fitness.

There is something about running, long distance running in particular, that is very soothing, very spiritual. To me it is meditative. Listening to my breathing in and out, my feet hitting the pavement. It creates a rhythm, and that is entirely where I focus. I just finished reading "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running," by Haruki Murakami, a book that highly recommend whether you run or not. In it, he writes about his own personal experience of running. "I just run. I run in a void. Or maybe I should put it the other way: I run in order to acquire a void." This void, that is now why I run. I am meditating.

Now that I am running for this void, for meditation, for reasons other than just exercising, my running has vastly improved. I have passed through a running "wall" and found myself on the other side. I enjoy running. I look forward to the introspective time to myself. Murakami describes it best, "My mind went into a blank state you might even call philosophical or religious. Something urged me to become more introspective, and this newfound introspection transformed my attitude towards the act of running."

Running is still a practice, much like journaling or blogging, that I keep up with every day. I set goals for myself. I am currently training for my very first marathon, to take place on November 13 in the Outer Banks. I will be blogging about my progress, so I thought I would first fill you in on how I got to where I am now. And I can now proudly say, that yes, I am a runner.